Bethany's Breast Implant Story

Growing Up

I was about 7 or 8 years old and I can remember having a conversation with one of my friends about the size of our breasts. She wanted to know why I was developing “nice” breasts already and she was not. However, by the time I was 13, my breasts had stopped growing and I was now smaller then all of my friends.  During my teenage years, I grew to be very self conscious about the size of my breasts, and I would not wear clothing that was too low cut or revealing because I was afraid I didn’t have big enough breasts to hold certain clothing.  I was frustrated because I had to find shirts that did not drop at the neckline every time I bent over.  It was difficult to find a bra, bathing suit, tank top or dress that fit my body because most were too big on the top.  The bras I purchased were so padded that they did not look or feel natural under my shirts. I hated being in a bathing suit.  I think I knew at that tender age of 13 that I wanted breast implants.  Thinking back on these years, I know this is not something that I should have been obsessed over, but I was.

Entering Adulthood

By the time I graduated from high school and started college, I stopped obsessing so much over the idea of breast implants.  However, in the summertime when I would see girls with cute figures and larger breasts, it did make me wish that mine were bigger.  But, I had a cute figure and was very satisfied with my looks for once in my life.  I met a wonderful man who would later become my husband and he loved me just the way I was.  Life seemed complete at this point; I was starting my new career, we bought our home and started thinking about starting a family.

Adulthood With Implants

After having my first child in 2004, I started to once again dislike my appearance.  I had always been an average girl with a nice figure.  However, with the pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight and my body changed and stretched in ways I never thought possible.  I kept telling myself that my body would go back to the way it was and that I would eventually lose all of the extra “baby weight.”  I focused on being a new Mom and taking care of my child.  However, the extra weight never came off and a year later, I was pregnant again with our second child.  During that pregnancy, I really tried to watch how much weight I was gaining because I still had extra weight from my first pregnancy.  Much to my surprise, I did not gain as much weight and the weight I did gain, I carried well.  However, I was disappointed because through both pregnancies, it seemed as though all of my body grew except for my breasts.  Both of my children were due in the summer months, so it was difficult to find maternity clothes that were made for women with small breasts.  I found myself wearing oversized t-shirts because the cute little maternity dresses and tops would literally fall off of my breasts.  The “wrap-around” style was very popular but I could not wear that style. 

After I had my second child, I started again getting the desire to get breast implants.  I started researching and looking into surgeons in my area.  I came across a popular breast implant website that I thought gave me all the information I needed.  The website listed some possible complications like capsular contracture, rippling, loss of sensation, etc.  The complications seemed so rare that the chance of any of it happening to me seemed very small, and if I did have any complications, I was told it could be easily corrected.  I called and made my consultation appointment. I was so excited to be taking this new path.  I knew breast implants would not change my weight, but I thought they could help “proportion” my body and give me the drive to lose the extra weight I had gained.  I was not extremely heavy, but I felt the extra weight made my breasts look smaller.  Getting implants was my chance to feel sexy and feminine again.  I was very impressed by my consultation appointment.  I talked to some of the women who worked in the plastic surgeon’s office that had implants and they all said they LOVED them.  I thought this is it; I am finally going to have the breasts I’ve always wanted!!!!  My plastic surgeon went over some risks with me and said the percentage of something happening was very low but that there was some risk.  She was very honest with me about the pain after surgery.  She was very concerned about me as a person, not just as a patient.  I felt 110% comfortable with everything and knew that if there was a complication, that it could easily be corrected. 

I had my surgery in March 2007.  I had 480cc saline implants, under the muscle with my incision in the crease of my breasts.  I went from a small 36B to a 38C/36D.   The pain afterward the surgery was more than I expected.  I have never been in so much pain and it lasted for about a week.  It hurt to do just about everything.  I remember having pain when I would breath.  I needed help going to the bathroom because the muscles in my breasts would hurt while pulling my pants up or down.  Every time I moved my arms it felt like someone was stabbing me over and over with a knife.  I also had trouble sleeping, it hurt to lie flat so I had to prop myself up with pillows so I could get in and out of bed.  It was the worst week of my life and even though I did get better after the first week, I still could not lay flat in my bed for almost a month.  I never got to the point where I was comfortable lying on my stomach.  I eventually did get the sensation back in both breasts and for the most part, I felt great.  I was very happy with my results and did feel very sexy with my new implants.  Things seemed normal.

The Problems Begin

Within 2 months after surgery, I started noticing strange symptoms.  I started to have digestion issues; my stomach had an awful burning sensation constantly.  I called my plastic surgeon’s office and was assured that my issues were not from my implants.  I also started noticing that no matter how much sleep I got, I always felt tired.  But, I just thought this was from having 2 small children.  I did not want to believe that my issues were from the implants, but I did think it was strange that the issues began within 2 months after getting my implants.  I put the concerns in the back of my mind and tried ignoring them, hoping they would just go away.  Looking back, I should have never put them in the back of my mind because I was developing some serious problems.

Getting Worse

I went through the summer trying to ignore my digestion issues, and just tried to keep up with my everyday life of taking care of the children and my house.  My digestion and fatigue continued to get worse as the weeks past.  Finally, in August, only 5 months after getting my “safe” implants, I could no longer ignore my problems.  I started getting sick to my stomach every time I ate; I was so tired that I could not be an active Mom.  I felt dizzy all the time and started having trouble driving because of it.  My eyesight started to get blurry and I felt like I was looking through a tunnel.  I also started to notice that I could not remember simple things, and I did not seem to process information like I used to be able to.  In my extremities, I started developing a tingling sensation and numbness, almost like they would “fall asleep” for no reason.  I also became very irritable and started having anxiety attacks very easily.  I started to not even recognize who I had become; my body did not feel like my own.  I knew then that something was terribly wrong and I also knew that all of these problems started right after I got my implants, and that they had continued to get worse the months following.  I knew in my gut that my implants where causing me great harm.

My Symptoms

-Numbness and tingling in my extremities/extremities falling asleep very easily
-Pain radiating from my breasts down my right arm/back
-Debilitating fatigue
-Flu-like symptom
-Brain Fog/feeling spacey/zoning out/confusion
-Unable to concentrate and learn new things
-Hair loss
-Dry eyes
-Visual disturbances/blurry vision/erratic vision/slowed eye movement
-Muscle pain
-Heart palpitations
-Muscle Twitching
-Cold hands and feet
-Irritable bowel syndrome
-Ovary pain
-Dizziness and feelings of room spinning
-Headaches
-Heavy metals in hair and urine
-Unable to digest food
-Constant burning sensation in stomach
-Severe anxiety
-Candida

Finding Help

I found a website that I later credit with saving my life.  I searched the internet for “illness from saline implants” and right away came to the yahoo group, Saline Support.  I talked with a few of the women on the group and realized that my symptoms were very similar among all the women in the group.  At first, I did not want to believe my symptoms were from my implants and I even walked away from the group for a week or so.  However, I could no longer ignore my symptoms and I went back to face this very scary situation and find out what I needed to do to get better. 

I made an appointment my implanting surgeon and informed her as to what had been going on, and discussed explant surgery with her.  At first, she was hesitant but finally agreed to remove my implants with a total capsulectomy.  She stated that she would do all she could to help me.  Even though she was my implanting surgeon, I have a lot of respect for her, because of the fact that she was willing to remove my implants correctly.  The majority of the women I have spoken to, do not use their original plastic surgeon for removal because most plastic surgeons do not have experience with proper implant removal. I learned that it is crucial to have the implants removed correctly. 

I had my explant surgery in November of 2007.  I only had my implants for 8 months but I have never felt so free than the day I woke up and the implants were out!!!!  Through the whole 8 months of having implants, I never felt natural, I never could sleep on my stomach and I always wondered if people knew I had implants.  Once I had them removed, I felt like a new person, I felt free from the man-made pieces of plastic that were sewn in my breasts.  I knew I was on my way to healing.

The Aftermath

I have been explanted for only 2 months now.  I started to see some minor improvements in the first month.  My extremities do not tingle as much and I am not nearly as fatigued as I was.  I am regaining some of my energy back and my hair is not falling out nearly as much.  However, I still have terrible digestion problems. I am now seeing a Naturopath who has run many tests on me, the results of my testing shows that my digestive system is not functioning well at all.  I live everyday with constant burning in my stomach and never know when I am going to get sick to my stomach. 

Breast implants cost my family so much financially.  I have spent over $10,000 just in the 2 surgeries (within 8 months.) I have to spend money to see a Naturopath, testing, supplements and detox programs, all to try and return my body to a healthy state.  Knowing what I know now, I wish I would have used my initial $6,000 on a nice family vacation.  It upsets me to think how much money I have spent in the last 10 months on this ordeal.  This has all dramatically affected me physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and financially.  I am only 26 years old and I have to deal with the fact that my life may be filled with illness.  I also have to deal with the fact that this has not only cost me but also my husband and children.  It hurts me the most that my kids do not have a healthy Mom anymore.  It is also very scary to not know what the future of my health may be. 

The List of Supplements that I have taken in an effort to return to health

My Treatments

My Testing

Acceptance

Acceptance is the most difficult part for me.  All my life, I have dealt with low self-esteem.  As far back as early elementary school, I can remember not feeling good about myself or my appearance.  It does not help that as a child, you see everything from the perfect Barbie doll to the young teenage actresses we look up to that have “perfect” bodies with nice small waists and a large, perfectly round breasts.  Unfortunately, this is something I still struggle with and like most women; I can always find someone who I wish I looked like.  However, through all of this, I now have the most self-esteem I have ever had.  It is sad that it took something like this to make me realize that looks are not everything.  I look back and wonder why I even wanted to get the implants.  I always wanted larger breasts but looking back, I already had everything that was important.  I had a loving husband, a great family life, the most precious children and most of all, my good health.  I am not sure what I thought I was going to get out of the implants but I know they were not the answer to whatever it was I was looking for.  I have cried almost everyday for the past 4 months.  I still feel terrible guilt for all the heartache this has caused.  I pray one day that my body will be strong enough to have healthy children as that is my goal.  I know I carried 2 babies to term and they were born very healthy.  It scares me to think what the future will hold for any children I may have down the road.  I know it is possible to go on and have healthy children but the uncertainty is still very much there.  Ask yourself if it is worth the risk.  I am sure with all this considered, nothing is worth risking your health and/or life.  I remember reading that there is an increase in the suicide rate for implanted women.  When I was getting my implants, I remember thinking this was strange, and wondered why.  I never did look into “why” there was an increase.  I can now understand these statistics.  I have come a long way in accepting myself as I am and I know I still have a long way to go.  However, one thing I am certain of is that getting implants will NOT automatically build that self-esteem.  That can only be done within!!!!

My Words of Advice

I am sharing my story to help get the word out that breast implants are not safe.  Not every woman who gets breast implants will have problems.  However, are you willing to risk everything to see if you are one of the “lucky” ones who are not affected?  I thought the only risks were for simple things like capsular contracture and things that could be fixed.  I was wrong.  I also thought that illness from implants could never happen to me and that the women affected by the implants must have already had problems to begin with.  Once again, I was wrong.  It did happen to me and I am now living a life full of emotional and physical pain and grief.  I ask that you do your research, listen to your gut and know that there are plenty of places to turn to for support.  We have several great links listed to get information but I for one would strongly recommend joining the yahoo saline support group.  There are a lot of women there who will help you whether you are considering implants or already have them.  You can get a lot of great information regarding everything from problems with implants to methods of detox and more.  You can find the group at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/SalineSupport/

Please do yourself a favor and get all the information you can, and then take your time before making the decision on whether or not to get implants.  They can and most likely will eventually cause your body harm. My best advice is to look around you and be grateful for the positive things in your life.  Don’t dwell on the things you want to change or view as negative.  You are perfect just the way you are!!!!!

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